Bill Gates Bans iTunes From Windows
This just in from our news desk.
Today Bill Gates made the unprecedented announcement that Apple’s iTunes is banned from the Windows OS.
Our roving reporter was lucky enough to catch up with Bill and ask him why Microsoft had made this astonishing announcement. Bill had the following to say on this subject…
“In the first place we were happy that they (Apple) deployed iTunes to Windows; we got a lot of new customers just because of that one app, but, then we heard from an inside source that they (Apple) used the EXACT SAME code-base for iTunes Mac as for Windows.
On closer inspection we noticed that iTunes didn’t even use the real windows API! They make their own scroll system and their own chrome COMPLETELY bypassing our fantastic Windows OS. So, we’ve decided enough is enough. We’ll allow iTunes back into Windows when they (Apple) make the following changes.
- Apple MUST write a specialised version of iTunes on Windows and use Windows compilers and Windows languages ONLY
- Apple MUST use native windows controllers such as our in built Windowing system and scroll objects.
- Apple MUST lose this RIDICULOUS attitude of writing code once and deploying to multiple operating systems. Just don’t go there.
If they (Apple) can follow those few simple rules, then we (Microsoft) will be happy to allow them back on Windows.”
Update:
Just to be clear this is a Thought Experiment article parodying the double standards that came from Apple’s 3.3.1 T&C clause. Also, the author (Me) is a huge fan of Apple and ironically purchased a Mac Book Pro the very day this article was written!
Update 2:
If you liked this, you can follow me on Twitter @justinvincent and/or check out the Twitter client I’m building in jQuery @ pluggio.com 🙂
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Comments
So is this a parody on the apple vs flash debate? In talking with Uncle Steve, he just said he was going to buy adobe and kill the flash code just to spite them
Oh the satire. I love it.
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Sounds like a Modest enough proposal…
Exactly why I choose to vote with my dollar and not purchase an Apple iPhone/Pod Touch/Pad until they decide to open up the platform just a little bit more. I would never call for legislation to make that happen, and think the products are awesome, but it’s the only real way I can voice my discontent in a substantive manner.
I lol’d.
Why doesn’t Apple just use Adobe Flex to deploy the same code to multiple operating systems? *rimshot*
rofl!
Heh, nice parody. I get what you’re saying, but I think there’s a level of symbiosis that has to be available before this kind of situation happens. Obviously, if Apple felt like they needed Flash in order to compete with, say, Android, then there would be Flash on the iPhone and iPad.
I could be wrong, but my understanding of iTunes for Windows is as much for Windows’ sake as it is for Apple’s.
fora sec i was happy steve had his karma complete a full circle, oh well!!
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Not to mention, iTunes is BUGGY on Windows! When syncing my iPhone, IT HOGS UP 100% CPU!
Haha, funny 🙂
The hardest thing I ever did was sync music with iTunes. I have an iPod touch, but I don’t use it. My Sony MP3 player is much better and had better audio, that works on my Linux machine too.
I know this is a parody but it’s a pretty bad stretch. Steve Balmer runs Microsoft now, not Gates. And iTunes on Win 7 actually incorporates a lot of native features of Win 7 (I’m specifically thinking of the play/stop/pause buttons when you hover over iTunes in the taskbar.)
Regardless, I think 3.3.1 is douchebaggery.
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Apple should have banned MS Office 6 from the Mac. Live and learn…
I just wanted to highlight the double standards of the situation. I’m actually a huge apple fan and just purchased new Mac Book Pro today. 🙂
So they only ban iTunes and we can still use Safari on Windows even with its custom font rendering engine? *evil grin*
If this were for real, I would just ban them for their faggot Bonjour library sharing and not allow them back until they implement the universally shareable DLNA.
That’s f*ing hilarious! LOL big time
“Apple MUST lose this RIDICULOUS attitude of writing code once and deploying to multiple operating systems. Just don’t go there.”
What about Java?
[…] Bill Gates Bans iTunes From Windows (Pluggio […]
You and lot of people have missed the point. Apple are lazy. Yes, lazy. they don’t hate flash (well not that much anyway). It’s just that flash or silverlight screws up their tight control over the app store and it’s business model. The app store make money for apple. Vetting applications costs apple money, in terms of man power/ wages etc. Think of the number of flash and more so Microsoft developer out there. If they all we able to write iPhone app apple could not keep up with the demand of checking each and every app. Instead of looking to improve their (apples) app store they decide to block, thus limit the number of new developer. Trust me, that’s all there is to it.
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Al, im sorry, but no. You’re wrong.
[…] Here is a nice bit of backlash from Bill: http://pluggio.com/blog/?p=244 […]
iTunes needs to be re-written in Visual Basic!
dumb
@Al: Sounds like you think that’s a bad thing. Honestly, if it keeps the requirements of entry to the iphone club high enough I’m happy. Everybody doing it is not a good thing. Look at how blogging is this days. Everyone has a blog. Even your grandmother who talks about her furless cat. Sure there will always be bad content on the internet the way there will always be bad applications, but allowing people in that otherwise wouldn’t blog or program, creates a surplus of content and applications that degrade the quality of the infrastructure and ecosystem themselves.
If only Bill Gates was still in a position of power to do such a thing. For this to even be accurate it would need to be an announcement by Steve Ballmer.
yeah, you are right. itunes is the most bloated piece of shit I have seen in my whole life.
iTunes is more bloated than Flash. And what is with that crappy gray window chrome? Where is aero?
Funny but there’s a major disconnect between windows and iPhone OS. Could’ve been a valid comparison if the TOS was applied to OSX. The XBox or Zune would’ve been a much better platform to consider for this thought experiment.
Well, when you put it that way… I agree completely with banning it. iTunes is shit on Windows and should indeed be rewritten.
you guys all missed the point. meh
No, YOU should follow me first, on Twitter 😛 (@lordvishal)
too much haters, not enough thinkers to make this properly hilarious
Why should I follow you on Twitter? I don’t know you! Just because you wrote one article that was popular doesn’t mean I’d want to follow you on Twitter.
In fact updating your post to say “Follow me on Twitter” just makes me think you’re the sort of person I’d *never* want to follow on Twitter.
Ok, right, sorry, it’s been a stressful day. I just hate reading something funny and then having to read that at the end. I’m old and grumpy, I’ll follow if I want to.
@Tim Sorry if it offended you, didn’t mean to 🙁
Parody aside, who would have thought that Microsoft would ever look like the open player in comparison to Apple!
Argh. Stop buying Apple products. You are smart enough to know why.
hehe =] very good
I heard that Apple has patents on “How To Be a Douchebag” and “How To Turn Customers Into Smug A$$holes”.
Ummm.. how about Machinarium? Rejected from Xbox Live for not being a Micorosoft Exclusive.
Source: http://www.diygamer.com/2010/04/report-machinarium-refused-xbla/
Your satire is a little closer to reality then you know.
You totally missed the point. It would be much more accurate if Microsoft “issued” a statement that all windows programs must be coded in C++, and that Pascal, C, BASIC, etc. and their respective compilers/interpreters were no longer allowed to run in a Windows environment, with the exception of Microsoft-licensed languages/languages originating from Microsoft such as Silverlight.
I am not a douchebag! really, I’m not! Thank you fanboy for being another ember in my great fire. someday I will rule the entire world of the internet, and NOTHING will exist without my express consent. Only then will I be at peace and the world will be all rainbows and fruit. I… am not…. a douchebag…. (pass it on…. the power of Steve compels you)
Steve, you think that you will rule the world, but actually the guys and gals over at Google will own the world. You and I are a dying bread dude. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you though.
…and by the way, Justin is a genius! LOL!
This was indeed funny. Until I read the comments. Geewiz folks, lighten up. Justin, don’t apologize to anyone, you have a right to add follow me on twitter. Now I do. I think pluggio is a fantastic app.
All other points aside, the gist of this blog is well received. I like Apple too; but damn, they got issues.
Honestly there is alot of bullshit in thoes sentences. so lets disect them.
<<<<<<<<<<<<
# Apple MUST write a specialised version of iTunes on Windows and use Windows compilers and Windows languages ONLY
why? what i do recall is this going to go against all programmers that work crossplatform. Its sound economics to have one API one platform that work everywhere. It also makes your product look the same on all platforms thus making the synergy effects.
———————-
# Apple MUST use native windows controllers such as our in built Windowing system and scroll objects.
If your Operating system allows the user to change the Look & feel of the scrollable objects well then its not there fault. If you don't want it to happen, well then you shouldn't complain.
————–
# Apple MUST lose this RIDICULOUS attitude of writing code once and deploying to multiple operating systems. Just don’t go there.
No this is a sound strategy of writing a program that works and looks/feels the same on several platforms. It gives the user the benefit of using the same product on several platform the same way.
From a Economic point of view its more "Illogic to create 3 versions of a program Mac, Nix*, Windows then have one program exposed to 3 diferent platforms not only does it cut down the programming time.
No i think this is part of the actaul % loss in market shares MS have done to both Apple & Linux. More over i think this is a warning for the gaming industy since they are more and more talking about Mac OsX as a valid gaming platform. and if that ever happens then MS will lose even more ground.
Needless to say im still a XP user when i game and a Ubuntu user when i work. sorry but the compile time in Ubuntu is 1/5 of the time in XP and that time i can use better!
The problem with this is that Apple doesn’t actually have much shared code between the 2 versions… they used the Windows public API and wrote a native Windows app, but they happened to skin it so it didn’t look ugly.
Really, as far as the 3.3.1 debate goes, iTunes (and Safari) for Windows would both pass the test.
Pretty funny but about 16 days late 😉
Nice move Microsoft. iTunes is buggy on Windows
Very funny. It seems that Bill Gates cannot accept an application which is not vulnerable to the hackers and works well.
Nice writing. 🙂
—
@Snake
Machinarium was never rejected from Xbox Live. Microsoft said that they won’t publish it, which is a difference. Machinarium can still get to Xbox Live with some other publisher.
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No comment
As much as I use my Macbook and my iPhone, when I use iTunes on my Windows XP machine, I find it rather annoying that it doesn’t adopt the standard Windows UI conventions and controls.
So your sketch is very much on point. It’s highly annoying for Apple to do what it does for cross-platform development, and then to turn around and ban others from doing the same.
Envy & Pride
Envy & Pride
it’s No Surprise
So Google Chrome needs to watch out then considering it is using apple technology in it’s browser! lol. Between fighting over iPads and Chrome. I am beginning to wonder who’s Bleeding is going to stop first? I am sick of the constant PMS Steve Jobs and Bill Gates seem to have… They have pills that can make their 30 day cycles stop… SERIOUSLY!
OK, I’ll bite… 😉
I [as opposed to you] do *not* like Apple. I think their “walled garden” approach is *INSANE*. And Apple’s AppStore coupled with Silverlight [and yes, you guessed it] Flash is the equivalent of the “Axis of Evil”. Though the net result of this decision is in fact that one ActiveX2.0 vendor [Adobe] goes *down*. And many of those developers who have been trusting [idiotically] their lives in the hands of Adobe will probably switch to Open Web technology. So although Apple had suspect motives, the end result is paradoxically that the world is a little bit lighter, you and me are a little bit more free and there is a little bit more hope for the future because of this thing.
Here’s my “thought experiment” [not really] on the thing; http://ra-ajax.org/apple-bans-flash-to-objectivec-compiler-from-adobe-from-its-appst
waste of time this article
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Nice one gov 😛
Anyhow adobe tried to f**k apple before so I say fair play. Let the games begin!!!
Double irony! Because while you diss them, you buy their products and support them. You get the Apple you deserve.
fuck apple. fuck all your fanboys that can’t actionscript. cos this is what it all goes down to. noobs
LOL
The irony is how bad iTunes performs on Windows because of these exact reasons…
@bigplrbear . Well U missed out on VC++ , C# and VB.NET 🙂
There are so many options out there….
Hipsters with money are the target audience and therefore rides on the logic train seem plausible. Now if we look to the ticket agent for crazyville we’d note his glasses and microsoft pledge pin are still tainted with the splatter from a Jobs and crew gorilla mask.
Go clean up Bill and remember its better to give than receive so quit your nonsense & get with the program you cack hungry simpleton.
@Al I think ironic that you consider Apple lazy in this debacle. Lazy are the developers that want to develop mobile applications in flash, instead of learning a new (and easy) language. Having tried to program Java for multiple mobile devices, I can see Apple’s point completely. The iPhone platform has a lot of cool features, programming in something that was not intended for it lowers the bar enormously. If you run ANY Java application on a Mac, you will notice that they don’t even use the toolbars as any other application. What Apple is trying to do here is prevent the degradation of quality for iPhone applications.
The iTunes/Windows comment was spot on in this sense, and good irony. I don’t think it really applies, because they are VERY different ecosystems Desktop vs Mobile applications. A phone is a phone no matter how smart.
What a moron. I bet you thought this was clever. It isn’t.
Well write it with whatever you like but I rather see a Itunes that runs smother with ugly windows gui then the current flashy slow version that feels like its running in its own world..
This would be more effective and accurate of a parody if you had use someone who still had power at Microsoft, and if the headline had referred to Windows 7 Phone instead of Windows because Okay, it wouldn’t have been as effective because Microsoft doesn’t allow iTunes for Windows 7 Phone, at least yet, so there’s no double-standard anywhere when you compare oranges to oranges.
Apple has not made any restrictions on their desktop operating system, OS X. It’s fine to dislike and disagree with their new mobile policies, but can we avoid the overreaching rhetoric, please?
I don’t get why apple shouldn’t get slapped with an antitrust violation. MS did for merely including a web browser in the OS. Apple is much more anticompetitive than MS.
You’ve completely missed the point. Good job. Its about Apple’s right to change the hardware later on. Apple has waited and doted on Adobe too many times in the past. This puts all iPhone/iPad apps on a code base that is nimble and able to float across architectures. Though it is restrictive its also a good thing. Java is the same concept as these flash build systems and look how much people love java applications – they were so wonderful, no?
I would like to see, though, if anyone is able to build a standalone flash player for the iPhone OS using the built in APIs or if the whole hubbub is that Adobe is too lazy to rewrite anything using approved methods.
iTunes is a bloated piece of crap program. sucks up to many resources. There should be a revolt against itunes
So you write a scalding article, and end it with “I bought a MacBook Pro today”? I’m sorry, that’s not smart, that’s not hip, and that’s definitely not something that should go unnoticed! Why not have the strength to hold true to your convictions at least in these heated moments? Wait, WHAT CONVICTIONS!
Although I agree that Apple’s policy is kindof frustrating, apparently they did it so that they could do proper multitasking in the new OS. It’s not just for the sake of protectionism.
If the apps are cross compiled, then the OS can’t apparently manage their CPU cycles like they can if the app is written with less layers – or so I have been told.
Either way, I’m glad people are on Apple for this issue… I think it should be changed, if possible… I really want to use some of my Flash-based content on my iPhone.
Maybe Adobe should just improve Flash so it doesn’t take so much CPU??? Why does my laptop go into overdrive when I’m merely playing a video on a website? No other plug-in does that!
Love this. Awesome how the decisions of one or two effect the masses…not.
Larry
It’s a little disappointing that you had to update this to indicate it’s satirical… not sure whether that reflects worse on your audience or the state of the industry.
Apple only controls the distribution of the app in its app store. They do not control the distribution of apps for any other app store. In the same way that Walmart gets to choose what is sold in its stores but has no control over what is sold at Target.
Come on champ this is way too late for April 1st.
[…] Bill Gates Bans iTunes From Windows […]
Wish it were true… but I don’t use windows or mac, they both suck.
What’s this double standard you speak of? I don’t see Apple asking for exemptions from developer policies on other platforms.
If this were true, then Apple would be forced to use WPF and iTunes on Windows wouldn’t suck so much.
The fact that Microsoft allows this type of software development is a big reason that Windows software is so blowfull.
Enough is enough, Bill, get your damn brains back!
Nice one! I think this gets the point across very nicely. What are Apple up to? So stupid.
@Ron If you believe apple are only doing this because of multitasking then you’ll believe anything.
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It’s funny, but it also makes the false assumption that Bill Gates cares about quality.
Apple = Nazi computing.
[…] Pro Tweets Bill Gates Bans iTunes From Windows: http://pluggio.com/blog/?p=244 dhh – Fri 16 Apr 16:09 All Things […]
It’s sad, but I kinda wish this wasn’t a joke. Itunes runs like CRAP on windows, horrible memory management in the port.
LOL if Bill Gates only worked for Microsoft…
I love Bill…I’m a PC…woo hoo!!!
Nicely done!
Apple have some valid points regarding Flash and the fact it eats into processor cycles etc but to ban developers from coding with AS3 when it has been discussed for months at the eleventh hour when Adobe is about to release Flash CS5 with iPhone app creating ability is pure childish.
I can understand Apple wanting to protect the user experience and in turn it’s credibility but to telling coders you use object C or you don’t code for the iPhone is just wrong. Well Apple I choose not to code for the iPhone then!
You suck.
I did not know this was some sort of stupid humor you wrote as I came here.
MS would not simply ban an app like that.
You are writing this in hopes to trick people to come here and get clicks on your site.
I am so tired of everyone bashing MS. Apple is just as bad, if not even worse.
Apple PULLS applications they do not like off of iPhone AFTER it was accepted, used and d/l.
I will now block this site so I do not have to ever read your crap again.
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Without Apple….Windows would be nothing!
I like turtles
Awesome.. Yesterday’s walled off garden of AOL is today’s Apple. I seriously hope that other platforms do not take steve Jobs attitude and retaliate by now allowing apple products to be used on different platforms… Open Platforms have created the explosive growth in the web industry that we have to day..
[…] This is just not acceptable to me. I cannot support a company that goes in this direction, and as such, until Apple rethinks their strategy I will do nothing to support them. I will not buy an iPhone, I will not buy an iPad, I will not buy a MacBook, nor will I make any applications for any of these platforms. While this may hurt me in the short/long run, I cannot support a tyrannical company like this. This link illustrates exactly how ridiculous Apple’s stance is. […]
True, itunes uses the unreleased yellow-box allowing osx apps to be compiled and work perfectly under windows. It exists, they just haven’t implemented it for developers.
I had a I-pod for 2 hours 100 some gig, The only way to load music was with I-tunes, No drag and drop with MP3’s, So stupid!!!!
I packed it up and back it went,Without drag and drop it was worthless to me because I need to load MP3’s just before band practice and the I-Tunes software took to long to convert the files. I also can’t stand feeling a hard drive running in a player in my hand or pocket.
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Mobile platforms != desktop platforms. Comparing the two misses the point. You can write cross-platform code and deploy it on Mac OS X just fine, just like you can on Windows. I highly doubt that the development situation for Windows Phone 7 will be markedly different than it is for the iPhone—no unsigned apps, Microsoft provides the dev environment…
Section 3.3.1 is a tempest in the Internet teapot.
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this is just going to make more people get macs………. apple have made the best product on earth…. iPHONE….. pcs are old and dated..iphone is the future
Good I hate Mac and itunes!!! Plus the hackers are writing viruses for MAC now too!!!
I’m sorry, this was just dumb. For one, everyone knows Bill Gates doesn’t even work at Microsoft anymore. Secondly, so few programs even use the Windows API anymore that criticizing one company for not using it doesn’t stand out. Not even Microsoft uses the Windows look and feel for half their stuff.
iTunes for Windows sucks, sure, but this ‘satire’ didn’t even make me crack a smile.
Humor or not, true or not, the industries dark hearted competition better incorporate come cooperation, if only to not polarize the users and markets, before they retard the actual advancement of technology so badly the government thinks it can step in and force everyone to apply to a standard OS they design. Then, it’s all over.
There is good evidence the Flash war is real and based on orthodox proprietary and not technical limitations. We should be 20 years further by now in all areas of tech if not for such “clampetition”.
Power corrupts. It’s ironic, who’s the evil empire now?
wtf…..school children fighting!
I must say, this was a really funny satire piece but not NEARLY as comical as some of the Jobs worshiping replies to it. I love it because it’s really the only place you see Apple fanboys come out and try to defend their dear leader. When these conversation occur in real life, they never have anything to say in defense. This is largely due to the fact that the majority of Apple lovers seem to be uneducated fools who, when you begin to discuss anything of substance with them related to technology and emerging trends, are completely lost.
This is the 2nd week in a row that Apirl Fools is alive and well 😉
By the way, i agree with Steve Jobs’ move. It’s HIS platform If he thinks that other languages won’t be able to take full advantage for the Cocoa Touch UI, then so be it. It maintains the standards, and high standards are important. Should everyone on board the bandwagon here also criticise universities for maintaining a standard of rejecting plagiarism in submitted assignments?
Who cares about all this shit?? I’m stoked as long as the applications wotrk for me. All this banter about who did what is related to business. Let the business take care of itself.
[…] Bill Gates Bans iTunes From Windows | Pluggio Blog. April 16, 2010 | Tags: blogging, Business, intent, reference| No Comments » […]
remember the good old days when itunes was a quarter of its current size and didnt hog all your system resources?
[…] reklama kkarpieszuk przed chwilą #lol 🙂 fajny komentarz do ostatnich zagran #apple, ktore zbanowalo wszystkie aplikacje w app store za to ze nie uzywaja ich api 🙂 #microsoft zbanowal #iTunes bo na #windows bo te w ogole nie korzystalo z windowsowego interfejsu 🙂 pluggio.com/blog/?p=244 […]
Companies can’t make money and do what they do successfully. We must give everything away for free and no one can have more than another. Apple cannot regulate what people create for their own creation. They must be more socialist in their attitudes or the people will revolt. Do not care about quality. Since more people have flash, you must support it Apple as you are the evil doer here and it’s a sin to try to outdo your competitors.
Now that is the change you voted for – welcome to ObamaAppleCare…
“remember the good old days when itunes was a quarter of its current size and didnt hog all your system resources?”
Wait… that is Windows OS problem, runs fine on my iMac. Update to 64-bit and install 8 gigs so you can run a few apps at one time…
its a pitty isnt real… i hate itunes, is the most resources killer in my pc.
The only problem here is that Apple does NOT ban the use of certain software tools with their software, they ban it with their hardware. If you were actually doing a good satire instead of this EPIC FAIL, you’d say that MS would only allow applications developed for the X-Box using certain tools.
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Hey the only reason why Gates was said to have said this is cos he is the pioneer of Microsoft not Ballmar, plus I was almost taken til I thought neh they would not.
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So Bill is throwing Apple a bone here in there defence from the pending Adobe suit. See Mr. Judge Microsoft takes the same stance as we do.
Jobbs threw this little que out just a few weeks ago when he said that itunes is a poorly written app on windows.
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for these reason I do not like MS.
Even the purchased version do not work in well like sharepoint. It does not work well in FF or chrome.
Brillant. Absolutely brillant. Somebody mail this to Jobs! I bet he wouldn’t be happy to get a taste of his own medicine! 😀
[…] Gates Bans iTunes From Windowshttp://pluggio.com/blog/?p=244 must use Microsoft language/compiler 2 days […]
[…] from the less-serious side of life comes news that Bill Gates has banned iTunes for Windows. I’ll leave you to chuckle quietly at this parody of the whole “Section 3.3.1 of the […]
man, I love it
[…] Bill Gates Bans iTunes From Windows | Pluggio Blog […]
[…] whole episode has led to sarcasm that daemonises Apple. On closer inspection we noticed that iTunes didn’t even use the real […]
Bill Gates is dumb…
update:
just to be clear, this comment is also meant as a parody.